I miss blogging, but I was busy and was deprived of time to even see how my blog is. I even have classes after this. So I'll make this entry brief just so I could let y'all know that I'm still alive and that I would love to hear from you again.

Yesterday, we had a discussion in Theology. Our new professor seems fun... but not fun enough for me, I guess. If you were there you'd find me in the corner of the room beside the window and behind the curtains and the pillar... on the borderline between the Earth and cosmos. Half-asleep is the term, yes. But one sentence of his brought me back to my senses.

"Love is best felt when the feeling is no longer there (Or something else quite similar? I should do something about this memory of mine...)"

The statement made me remember a certain ordinary day last semester on an empty classroom, before our return demonstration of bandaging. Each armed with a stick of chalk, me and my friends were fooling around with the blackboard while I was crushing aloud (as usual)... Seeing perhaps that I was in a lovey-dovey mood, one of my dearest and closest female friends (who prides herself as being single since birth) asked me "How do you know that you love him?"

I suddenly stopped and faced her. It was the first time in my life somebody asked me that question, and so it was also the first time I realized that I have no answer, that I might have taken the deep and heavy word "love" so lightly, and that perhaps throughout those years of seeming to know what the word means I might have been wrong after all.

Suddenly, the most handsome guy in our block waltzed in. I stared at him as he acknowledged each of us and sat on an empty chair. He definitely is the embodiment of Adonis and a real "crush ng bayan"... And everybody knows that I have a teensy-weensy CRUSH on him. Something flashed through my mind... and before I knew it I faced my friend confidently. The answer dawned on me.

A million other girls in school have their eyes on him, while I could count my rivals with this guy that I love with my fingers.

"I LOVE HIM and I'm sure of that... I say so because he's imperfect, has lots and lots of faults, and yet I would want to spend the rest of my life with him. I can clearly see his negatives and am anticipating more of it, but still I accept him. His positives only come as bonus."

Lots of people say he's an arrogant and bossy brute; some say this guy's gay and is involved in a relationship with the same sex as his; yadda-yadda, etc... But I don't believe them. He may be bossy or arrogant at times, but he's not gay. Why do I think so? Because that's what he told me. He told me he's straight and so I'd believe that. Period. No sense of drilling evidences or opinions into my thick skull. And so what if I'm blind?

I love him, and love is able to change all the negatives of a person into a positive... whether the change is objective or subjective.

Infatuation, for me, is the total opposite of love. You tend to show off your positives to the person you're attracted to... and you'd tend to see his positives only. So if you ask someone what he/she loves the most in his/her girl/boyfriend and he/she answers "He/She's so sweet, hot/gorgeous, kind, compassionate, etc...", then I don't think that's love. The second rule of thumb that I've learned throughout my college life as a Nursing student in SLU is this: "People who tend to show off their negatives (usually by being hard on other people) are those who need love the most... Someone to show them that someone cares."

If only all people would conceptualize love like that, the world would perhaps be a much better place. Divorce and annulment would be perfectly nonexistent.

If love would be about acceptance of one person as a whole, then I bet guys would never mind if I am fat, or ugly, or dark-skinned-->my negatives, because my positives are deep to my skin... abstract and uncountable.

So, let's talk. What's your opinion about love? I'd love to hear it.