Somewhere in Northern America, a long time ago, a village was enjoying the rich and fertile soil graced upon it by a lake that was situated at its very heart. The people were very happy and contented, for they could depend their livelihood not only on their harvests (which are of great abundance), but also on the blessings of the lake. ~*One morning, there occurred a weak earthquake. It wasn't alarming at all, and the villagers continued with their lives as if the occurrence were just an anecdote waiting to be gossiped- no big deal, hey! But the next day, all of the villagers were found dead, as if they had all just fallen dead on their tracks. Corpses littered the streets, fields, and houses. Paranormal experts and policemen were sent to the area but not one of them was able to offer a plausible explanation. It remained to be a baffling scene until the scientists came.
~*The explanation: When the earthquake occurred, mineral deposits from the bottom of the lake surfaced and reacted with each other, forming a huge bubble of carbon monoxide. The bubble grew larger and larger unbeknownst to the people, until it burst at dusk and... Well, you could imagine what terror occurred next: people thinking they could run away from it but dropping dead in the middle of the road anyway- their skins burnt and their hair falling off their heads... According to the news, the carbon monoxide reached as far as 1000 meters, causing more injuries and deaths. The cattle and the crops were all spoiled, too.
Thus marked the sad ending of the harmonious and bountiful village that relied on the lake- lost in a shroud like the mist that envelopes it at night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The truth is... I'm feeling terribly angry right now. I'm unleashing my anger through this keyboard and a bag of cheese-n-beef nachos, and I still don't feel right. I've got to admit that during the past few months since I graduated from high school, I've changed a lot.
HIGH SCHOOL: (1) I never liked studying. (2) I don't take down notes (especially kay Sir Samson, hehe). (3) I don't lug around my books, notebooks, etc. (4)Most prominent: I'm mean; so not kind; an attitude-disaster, you'd think I was raised in the streets. <--Get this point. Next.
COLLEGE: (1) Studying is fun! (2) Taking down notes is fun! (3) I don't gallivant much, it's a drag 'cause it's so cold out nowadays. (4) Get this: I'm kinder. <--Get this point.
But I've thought this thought before, ruled it out, thought it again, believed in it, ruled it out again, and now I'm believing and philosophizing it: You're being taken advantage of because you're too kind. Other people would see you as kind and would push you around, order you around... UGH! This isn't me... I'm not kind... I don't give... But at least I try to... I TRY... I want to see what it's like, and I don't like it... Not at all...
You see, we had choral speech practice today, and we ended up with something monotonous. Dea and I approached the leader and suggested marveous ideas to her... Well, she turned a deaf ear on us... Oh, okay...
So then I just idled around with some friends nearby (while the others discussed plans on how to make the presentation more monotonous-- er, I mean presentable. And then this girl calls out "Ano ba? Maki-participate nga kayo!" angrily...
Aba't...!
~*THE FOLLOWING PORTION IS NOT RECOMMENDED FOR YOUNG AUDIENCES. PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS RECOMMENDED.
...
...
...
...
Juuuuuuuusssst kidding! Nope,
hindi ako magmumura sa blog na ito. Hindi ko kaya. Yikes, eh kung mabasa ni Tweety? Anong iisipin niya?There! Now, I feel better... ^_^
Picture me in relation to that lake now. I've been a help, just like it, but was poisoned with lots of assorted emotions inside of me too, capped up with my natural warfreak attitude. It just took a little stimulation- a little 'earthquake' to have made these contents bubble up and resurface and... Death. Injuries. Illnesses. Sufferings.
Remember my 'hate organization' scandal three years back? I can at times be sooo angry I could really kill. But I want to change not just for what other people would say about me but also for myself. So you see, I'm fighting a battle with myself. I want the old me to dominate- to be the one that is manifested- but parang nakatatak na sa utak ko that college is a lot different bacause it comprises of a lot of different people. Maybe I'm just plain scared, or I just really want to renew myself, to be cleansed from the old me... Though I know I would never rid myself of it. I've learned from Mam Lalet (psychology): personality is 60% hereditary and 40% environmentally- influenced. Argh!
It'll come up to the clear, this mind of mine, when it's ready. For now, I'm hungry. More nachos!