~+-Confessions of a Lovesick Seductress-+~

Something Called "LOVE"

2007-11-15T23:31:00.000-08:00

I miss blogging, but I was busy and was deprived of time to even see how my blog is. I even have classes after this. So I'll make this entry brief just so I could let y'all know that I'm still alive and that I would love to hear from you again.

Yesterday, we had a discussion in Theology. Our new professor seems fun... but not fun enough for me, I guess. If you were there you'd find me in the corner of the room beside the window and behind the curtains and the pillar... on the borderline between the Earth and cosmos. Half-asleep is the term, yes. But one sentence of his brought me back to my senses.

"Love is best felt when the feeling is no longer there (Or something else quite similar? I should do something about this memory of mine...)"

The statement made me remember a certain ordinary day last semester on an empty classroom, before our return demonstration of bandaging. Each armed with a stick of chalk, me and my friends were fooling around with the blackboard while I was crushing aloud (as usual)... Seeing perhaps that I was in a lovey-dovey mood, one of my dearest and closest female friends (who prides herself as being single since birth) asked me "How do you know that you love him?"

I suddenly stopped and faced her. It was the first time in my life somebody asked me that question, and so it was also the first time I realized that I have no answer, that I might have taken the deep and heavy word "love" so lightly, and that perhaps throughout those years of seeming to know what the word means I might have been wrong after all.

Suddenly, the most handsome guy in our block waltzed in. I stared at him as he acknowledged each of us and sat on an empty chair. He definitely is the embodiment of Adonis and a real "crush ng bayan"... And everybody knows that I have a teensy-weensy CRUSH on him. Something flashed through my mind... and before I knew it I faced my friend confidently. The answer dawned on me.

A million other girls in school have their eyes on him, while I could count my rivals with this guy that I love with my fingers.

"I LOVE HIM and I'm sure of that... I say so because he's imperfect, has lots and lots of faults, and yet I would want to spend the rest of my life with him. I can clearly see his negatives and am anticipating more of it, but still I accept him. His positives only come as bonus."

Lots of people say he's an arrogant and bossy brute; some say this guy's gay and is involved in a relationship with the same sex as his; yadda-yadda, etc... But I don't believe them. He may be bossy or arrogant at times, but he's not gay. Why do I think so? Because that's what he told me. He told me he's straight and so I'd believe that. Period. No sense of drilling evidences or opinions into my thick skull. And so what if I'm blind?

I love him, and love is able to change all the negatives of a person into a positive... whether the change is objective or subjective.

Infatuation, for me, is the total opposite of love. You tend to show off your positives to the person you're attracted to... and you'd tend to see his positives only. So if you ask someone what he/she loves the most in his/her girl/boyfriend and he/she answers "He/She's so sweet, hot/gorgeous, kind, compassionate, etc...", then I don't think that's love. The second rule of thumb that I've learned throughout my college life as a Nursing student in SLU is this: "People who tend to show off their negatives (usually by being hard on other people) are those who need love the most... Someone to show them that someone cares."

If only all people would conceptualize love like that, the world would perhaps be a much better place. Divorce and annulment would be perfectly nonexistent.

If love would be about acceptance of one person as a whole, then I bet guys would never mind if I am fat, or ugly, or dark-skinned-->my negatives, because my positives are deep to my skin... abstract and uncountable.

So, let's talk. What's your opinion about love? I'd love to hear it.

Oh, yes! The pig is back!

2006-10-03T02:59:00.000-07:00

Just a RELATIVELY SHORT ENTRY ('cause it's so hot)!

Whenever I see ballroom dancers belting it out with their dance instructors, I am always reminded of swans-- graceful and docile creatures that represent beauty and simple elegance...

That is, until I saw myself on video dancing the swing... I am suddenly reminded of a pig with its tail caught on its hooves, clumsily tumbling about. Ugh.

Oh, well, anyway...

I'm home! And for now, it's all that matters to me... Quota? What quota? What second semester? Oh, no-siree, I must not at all costs be reminded of those God-forsaken things or I shall throw into yet another one of my trademark "tanginang-mga-bagay-yan-paki-ko-ba-wag-nyo-sirain-mood-ko-pak-yu-ol" fits.

~*Hmmm... A whole month! Things to do, things to do, things to do:

---(1)Visit high school! Ah, mi alma mater! Mi sacre bleu alma mater! According to Gelian, "a time for me to rekindle with my 'boyfriends' again".
---(2)Beach marathon (status: accomplished)! I so totally missed the big, blue, salty body of water just a short walk away from our house!
---(3)Bonding with the fam (the uber-adorable sibs and the fat, huggable 'rents)(status: accomplished)!
---(4)Bonding with the 'kada! -->Welcome back, mah Gelai! Mooches!

~*Hmmm... That's about it. Oh, yeah:
---(5)See him again... Para wala lang naman. Masama ba? 'Di ko na gusto yung tao, oy!--> Hanggang ngayon ba naman, denial?

I may not fully accomplish these to-do's but still, I'm thankful for this gift of rest- this semestral break- that I may rid myself from all the troubles that college life has offered and has yet to offer to me. Despite the heat and the faulty air-conditioner and water system, I still consider it to be a wonderful blessing and a reward for having been a good and well- disciplined kolehiyala. I hope -with two fingers crossed- that come second semester, I will be ready -and more able- to deal with all the stress, pressure, and problems that normally comes along with college life.

P.S. A whooping 93 for our group's pop dance- the highest score! Hehe, bawing-bawi! Isn't God good? (-_^)

Hush... Contain yourself! Huuuuummmmm.....

2006-08-16T02:20:00.000-07:00

Somewhere in Northern America, a long time ago, a village was enjoying the rich and fertile soil graced upon it by a lake that was situated at its very heart. The people were very happy and contented, for they could depend their livelihood not only on their harvests (which are of great abundance), but also on the blessings of the lake. ~*One morning, there occurred a weak earthquake. It wasn't alarming at all, and the villagers continued with their lives as if the occurrence were just an anecdote waiting to be gossiped- no big deal, hey! But the next day, all of the villagers were found dead, as if they had all just fallen dead on their tracks. Corpses littered the streets, fields, and houses. Paranormal experts and policemen were sent to the area but not one of them was able to offer a plausible explanation. It remained to be a baffling scene until the scientists came.

~*The explanation: When the earthquake occurred, mineral deposits from the bottom of the lake surfaced and reacted with each other, forming a huge bubble of carbon monoxide. The bubble grew larger and larger unbeknownst to the people, until it burst at dusk and... Well, you could imagine what terror occurred next: people thinking they could run away from it but dropping dead in the middle of the road anyway- their skins burnt and their hair falling off their heads... According to the news, the carbon monoxide reached as far as 1000 meters, causing more injuries and deaths. The cattle and the crops were all spoiled, too.

Thus marked the sad ending of the harmonious and bountiful village that relied on the lake- lost in a shroud like the mist that envelopes it at night.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The truth is... I'm feeling terribly angry right now. I'm unleashing my anger through this keyboard and a bag of cheese-n-beef nachos, and I still don't feel right. I've got to admit that during the past few months since I graduated from high school, I've changed a lot.

HIGH SCHOOL: (1) I never liked studying. (2) I don't take down notes (especially kay Sir Samson, hehe). (3) I don't lug around my books, notebooks, etc. (4)Most prominent: I'm mean; so not kind; an attitude-disaster, you'd think I was raised in the streets. <--Get this point. Next.

COLLEGE: (1) Studying is fun! (2) Taking down notes is fun! (3) I don't gallivant much, it's a drag 'cause it's so cold out nowadays. (4) Get this: I'm kinder. <--Get this point.

But I've thought this thought before, ruled it out, thought it again, believed in it, ruled it out again, and now I'm believing and philosophizing it: You're being taken advantage of because you're too kind. Other people would see you as kind and would push you around, order you around... UGH! This isn't me... I'm not kind... I don't give... But at least I try to... I TRY... I want to see what it's like, and I don't like it... Not at all...

You see, we had choral speech practice today, and we ended up with something monotonous. Dea and I approached the leader and suggested marveous ideas to her... Well, she turned a deaf ear on us... Oh, okay...

So then I just idled around with some friends nearby (while the others discussed plans on how to make the presentation more monotonous-- er, I mean presentable. And then this girl calls out "Ano ba? Maki-participate nga kayo!" angrily...

Aba't...!

~*THE FOLLOWING PORTION IS NOT RECOMMENDED FOR YOUNG AUDIENCES. PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS RECOMMENDED.

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Juuuuuuuusssst kidding! Nope, hindi ako magmumura sa blog na ito. Hindi ko kaya. Yikes, eh kung mabasa ni Tweety? Anong iisipin niya?

There! Now, I feel better... ^_^

Picture me in relation to that lake now. I've been a help, just like it, but was poisoned with lots of assorted emotions inside of me too, capped up with my natural warfreak attitude. It just took a little stimulation- a little 'earthquake' to have made these contents bubble up and resurface and... Death. Injuries. Illnesses. Sufferings. Remember my 'hate organization' scandal three years back? I can at times be sooo angry I could really kill. But I want to change not just for what other people would say about me but also for myself. So you see, I'm fighting a battle with myself. I want the old me to dominate- to be the one that is manifested- but parang nakatatak na sa utak ko that college is a lot different bacause it comprises of a lot of different people. Maybe I'm just plain scared, or I just really want to renew myself, to be cleansed from the old me... Though I know I would never rid myself of it. I've learned from Mam Lalet (psychology): personality is 60% hereditary and 40% environmentally- influenced. Argh!

It'll come up to the clear, this mind of mine, when it's ready. For now, I'm hungry. More nachos!

Dandruff and Hay infusions... You ARE making my day!

2006-08-06T04:57:00.000-07:00

Seven minutes to eight and I'm still sitting in a demon-infested internet cafe (it's dark, noisy, full of shouting and cursing gamers- you'd even think I'm exaggerating) researching for diagrammatic drawings of hay infusions and dandruff.

Dandruff! I mean... Puh-lease.

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But I wouldn't sacrifice if it weren't for you, cutie. Ask me to bring the moon and place it at your feet and I will... in your face that is. A dark half-moon shaped shadow around your eyes.

Halatadong wala akong magawa, noh? Makapag-tagalog na nga lang muna. Argh.

Nung Friday pala, nanood kami ng Sukob, dalawa lang kami ni Krisia. Bonding, kasi nag-mimiss out na kami sa isa't isa. Sabi niya, hindi siya natakot sa pelikula, sa mga sigaw ko lang. Ako naman kasi, hindi ko mapigilan... Masarap kaya sumigaw! Eh sa nagugulat nga ako eh, alangan namang pigilan ko? Eh kung mautot ako?

Hala, halatadong ako'y bad trip! Bakit kasi yung pinakamahirap pa ang na-assign sa akin? Hay infusion? Dandruff? Sinong normal na tao ang magpopost sa internet ng pictures ng dandruff sa OIO? At ng diagrammatic na picture ng hay infusion na may mga nagse-sailing na protozoans at looba-loobas? Ay, kung hindi lang ako in-love...

Kamusta na kaya siya? Hmmm...

Anyways, naghahanap nga ko ng medyo malapit-lapit na guy eh... Para naman may malas na naman na taong mapagtritripan. Meron nga eh, pinopormahan ko, lagi akong nakangiti sa kanya... Kaya tuloy panay na ang tingin sa akin... Baka inaantay niyang masilip ang lalamunan ko or something. Hehe, pero... cute (^_^). Pwede... Quality...

Ay, eto nakakatuwa... Noong laboratory Tuesday kasi, niloloko si Pres. Renz nina Elaine at Steph sa harap ko. Kasalukuyan siyang nakasilip sa microscope (yung ill-stricken hay infusion na iyan)eh minamasa-masahe siya nung dalawa, kinikiliti-kiliti... Wa epek naman sa kaniya. Ako, try ko! Pero seductive massage, more like a slow seductive stroke (kagat ko pa iyong lower lip ko). Dahan-dahan sa kanyang likuran... Nagpipigil na kaming lahat ng tawa... Nang bigla ba namang lumingon! Ay, putcha, caughta in the act! Sabi niya, 'Bakit ba?' in a nice, teasing way with matching nakakalokong smile. Hagalpakan na ng tawa... Tapos noong medyo nag-subside na, umupo ako sa tabi niya, tapos naka-smile siya... Steeg! Go Hannah, go Hannah, go Hannah, go! Yeah!

Masarap palang pag-practice-an itong blog na ito ng Filipino! Mag-iwan ng komento!

Maghahanap pa muna ako ng hay infusion at dandruff... Haaaaaayyy...

Hmmm... Can the cold make a person crazy?

2006-06-15T00:02:00.000-07:00

BAGUIO CITY. Summer capital of the Philippines. Too cold for me, I could die anytime in the middle of the night with blue lips and purple skin. Always encounter flights and flights of stairs anywhere, everywhere, everytime (I lost weight, so I could say this in my trademark adik-adik tone). I'm so lonely. I feel empty. People who try to pull me down and show that I'm worth nothing. People who LIE to me. People who build Mount Everests from an anthill. People who you try to help and feel bad at you because you care to do so. People who forget everything that you had had in the past. Friends you thought were forever yours to keep. This isn't getting anywhere...

Yesterday, I was about to eat lunch. Alone. I ordered a value meal and the stupid carinderia lady served me one whole order of each. I got so pissed off that I walked out of the establishment. I transferred to another self-service restaurant and finally found contentment. I was eating and I texted my mom, "Kmain n kau?" No reply until after five minutes: "Wthrw k n s bngko". I replied, "Ma, msrp bng m2ty?"

I thought I was doomed to forever be alone, that I already had my share of happinees back at high school and God would want me to feel isolated from the world for a change. My cellphone was ringing, mother was calling but I paid no attention. I thought of all those people that I thought I had... and realized that I don't need them in my life. They don't need me, why should I need them?

I thought that one day, my so-called friends will find me in a corner of a mall chatting animatedly with my new friends, and they'd come up and say "Bezy! How are you?" to which I'd answer "Do I know you?" and continue with my business. I thought of not going back home forever and not answering any incoming calls from any of my family. I thought of being alone in my room, thinking about how alone I was in the world and suddenly finding a rope in one of the drawers and...

I started walking towards Burnham park, an overpass away from the Nursing building of my school (Hell, yeah, I'm an official Louisian!). I looked up to see a man smirking at me and then suddenly burst out laughing at me! Why? Because I'm fat, that's why! I grew even more angrier and climbed the overpass. When I was exactly four feet above him, I opened my half-full mineral water bottle and threw all the contents on him. I heard him scream before I ran away.

This occurrence gave me a new thought: that there are two types of people in the world- the beautiful and the ugly. The beautiful earn respect (and whistles!) from his/her fellow men, while the ugly get laughed at and discriminated. Also notice that the beautiful are often the people who are contented with their love lives, while the ugly are those who sigh and dream when their crush passes by and weep when they find out that he/she is already taken. I've plenty more comparative statements here, but it'll take me the whole day if I type them all out.

God, I was SO angry I could kill. I imagined that I was beautiful, and all those who were so cruel and mean to me I've attracted. They were all asking for me to be theirs, but I wouldn't give in. In the end, I tell them all that I already have a boyfriend... "Oh, you know who he is! He's Bentoy! You know, that guy you were all making fun of?"

It was raining hard when I decided to go home. I was soaked to the bone when I arrived. My housemates said they were worried, and that my mother was worried that I had done something bad to myself. Oh, now they all care! But I wasn't mad anymore... I wasn't crazy anymore... I figured out that:

1. People who don't treat you as a friend (or not anymore as a friend) don't deserve you. There are so many potential best friends out there! My search is definitely on!

2. People are not classified according to their physical appearance. They are classified according to their intelligence. The smart people appreciate beauty as universal: there is nothing on Earth that's ugly. The ignorant, however, discriminate everything they don't find beautiful. They're too stupid to know real beauty. They don't consider how other people feel. They try to make you think that you're nobody. In regards with the lovelife, it doesn't necessarily mean that the beautiful people in a relationship are truly happy. It's the smart bunch who are happy because there is mutuality, harmony and love within the relationship. Ignorant people don't even know what these things mean, and thus are in for a chaotic romance!

3. Your family cares about you, no matter what. Mama thinks that I texted my horrid message because I'm finding my course difficult or something. When I told her about my temporary illness, she said "Aba, mas maganda nga ang mag-isa ka all the time, kahit habang kumakain, kasi it's an opportunity for you to bond with yourself and your notes." Mama, you're a genius!

This morning, I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to take on a new day (all crazed thoughts forgotten, thank God!).

The rain did me good.

P.S. Hottie alert! 2 new hotties caught my eye... One guy striked me as having the same attitude as "Tweety" *wink wink*... And one was watching me with a twinkle in his eye while I reported in history (but he's already taken, so...)...

Pangasinan's Night-out!

2006-05-01T00:12:00.000-07:00

Were you at the 'Bangus Festival' last night? I was. I street-partied last night with about a thousand more people who are proud to be part of the province that supplies the best milkfish in the whole world. Hmmm... Come to think of it, I'm not really an original Pangasinense. I grew up in Manila (this explains why I'm a bit of a rebel and 'pakawala') and moved here when I was five or six. Our house then was situated right in the middle of a bustling Cubao: a good walk away from SM Cubao, Ali Mall, Max's, McDonald's, Rustan's, COD, etc... So you can imagine my shock when I first came in here. There were no tall buildings and malls. On our way to San Fabian (where I live right now), only long rows of mountains and farmlands greeted my sight. I instantly thought that my life will never be the same again.

Ten years swiftly passed. I'm fresh out of high school and I've learned to adapt to my environment. I've gained friends, fallen in and out of love, and learned lessons that will someday pull me through life. Pangasinan wasn't so bad after all.

Ehem, as I was saying... I partied last night blah blah blah and I had fun! Actually, my night didn't start out good. We came late kasi to the party venue eh (A.B. Fernandez Ave.) so the place was packed na. We even had a hard time finding a place to park our vehicle! And while I was squeezing through the crowd, I couldn't help but think "Ang mga Pilipino talaga..." We settled on Stage 9 na lang (because it was the nearest), which is being run by Star FM and Bombo Radyo. The guests were Session Road, Masculados, and the main event- Ethel Booba. As much as I wanted to check out the other stages (I was looking for Hale or PNE), I had no choice na.

The first performers were the Masculados, with their hit singles like Lagot Ka, Gigil, and Swak na Swak. Next came Maricar Fernandez, endorsing White Castle Whiskey (alongside the Masculados)by singing her own medley.

A local band named Roads Asia (or so I think) played next while the next performer (Session Road) was getting ready. While the band played, fireworks lit up the sky. They were beautiful! Sobra! Halatadong pinagka-gastusan ng milyones ni Mayor Benjie! Gazing at the spectacular colors that exploded just above me (yes, we've got the best position!) felt like being sucked into a vortex of multicolored glitters... and one couldn't help but think just how much more wonderful it could be if the person you love was standing beside you, feeling and thinking just the same. Sigh.

The fireworks display lasted for about six minutes. It ended in time for the announcers to introduce Session Road. The band that was Baguio's pride played their hit singles like Suntok sa Buwan and Blanko (a new song that will be included in their new album which is due next month). Even Tuesday Vargas surprised us with her unexpected appearance!

The last and most-anticipated performer was multi-talented comedienne and host Ethel Booba. She was dressed in a tight tube top and sequined micro-mini. Male onlookers bent down in hopes of grabbing a look-see of her *****. Hehe!

When Ethel first sang, one of the wires got unplugged (due to the amount of people who are eager to see her). She sang another song by Sarah Geronimo and proceeded to hosting a mini 'pasiklaban'. She picked five lucky male volunteers from the crowd. The one who exhibits the best breakdance will be declared winner and will get to kiss Ethel on the lips! God, she was sooooooo funny and entertaining! Sobra! She kept on cracking jokes and acting flirty in a funny way even from the start of her performance! The audience roared with laughter and participated with her quirks. Sabi nga nung announcer, "Ang lakas talaga ng hatak ni Ethel Booba!" Eh paano, saan ka ba naman nakakita nung bastos na mga jokes pero sobrang nakakaaliw kung kaya't hindi na pinapansin kung sexual connotation! Sabi pa nga ni Ethel, "May mga batang nakatingala sa baba. Parang naaalala nila yung pinaggalingan nila. At saka may mga big kids pa pala." O, di ba? Hehe!

We let her finish her performance before we went home veeeeery tired (and with stomach gases from so much laughter)! We didn't even remember that we haven't eaten yet! Now, what was I saying a while back? Oh, yes... "Ang mga Pilipino talaga... marunong magsaya!" ^_^

It's so... surreal. I could only be dreaming...

2006-04-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

High school life is finally over. Shems. Ang sakit pala. It's -what would the British call it?- sacre bleu. Joyce, asan ang tagboard mo? Hindi ko mahanap, naduduling na ako. Or I may have gotten ill due to the fact that my life is never going to be the same again. Footah. I miss my friends. I miss my classmates. I miss him...

Graduation took place three days ago (10th April, 2006) but my mind seemed to have failed to process the idea. However, I remember what took place while the song 'Salamat' played: lots of tears, hugs, kisses... To me, it was horrible... Of course it was! I cried.

I sang while I cried. I laughed. I hugged a lot of fiends- people who I may never see again... People who I may never spend that same chikahan sessions with like I did in the past... People who have accepted me for who I really am and who I'm not... I remember being hugged by Jeric, and I will never forget how I felt at that time... It's the same feeling when I accidentally let go of my kite when I was five... And Monica, my precious friend since grade one... Lee-Anne. Yves. Dennis. Dea. Marz. Ison. Joyce. Yeng. JRay. The long list goes on... God, I never thought I'd lose this much... Now, I realize how much opportunity there was before that I could have made use in spending time with those people who I've left out... People who could have been potential best friends and chikahan buddies had I only as much as tried to befriend... It's too late now.

And yeah... HE hugged me too. I never thought he would. Sharlyn was pushing me in his direction but I was fighting back. Maybe because I've not given him any good memories anyway... or I'm just plain scared. Anyway, he hugged me. I hugged back. And then when he was gone, I cried even harder... because he's gone. Just like that. I don't even remember looking him in the eye. He just came up and hugged me, nothing more nor less. Sigh.

Congratulations, batch 2006 of Mother Goose Special Science High School! This is not the end, but a fresh new beginning for us to enjoy life and meet MORE friends! We'll see each other soon, I'm sure! :)

KitKats! Cherry KitKats! White Chocolate KitKats! Chocolate KitKats! I LOVE YOU TWEETY!

2006-04-05T05:10:00.000-07:00

I just received a package from *e-hem* HIM. It's a beautifully-wrapped pink box with a fuchsia bow to match. I opened it and I was thrilled to see that it was full to the brim with KitKats in three different flavors: Chocolate, White Chocolate, and the Valentine edition Cherry flavor. Yum! Thanks! ^_^

No, no, I'm not talking about Tweety- I'm talking about that someone who genuinely cares for me (yes, believe it or not, someone does). He's five years older than me and he's currently in Singapore for his OJT (I think it's some kind of a training). He just bowed off his Computer Engineering course last year. I miss him, but life goes on... And he's not even my boyfriend (anymore)!

Speaking of love... Sigh, I’m off to college soon but I haven't yet talked to HIM (Tweety) about my feelings... And he's even teasing me, God! He's always going near me because he knows I can't stand him because I like him... I... L O V E... Him...

<--Help me! Leave a comment or a tag!-->

A Dance To Remember...

2006-02-10T09:13:00.000-08:00

So kung hindi ka pa pinakiusapan ng mga kaibigan ko, hindi mo ako isasayaw? Ang sakit naman...

Tagalog-english muna tayo ngayon kasi medyo inaantok po ako... Kagagaling ko lang sa prom and I'm striving to keep my eyes open just to be able to type this entry... Eto yung (mga) nangyari:

Blah blah blah, nagpamake-up ako't nagpaayos ng hair, blah blah blah skip skip skip. So imagine nating asa reception na ako't kasama ko na ang mga friends ko. Sinamahan ako noon nina Vannessa, Romeo at Sharlyn sa ladies' room kasi may mga natanggal akong mga hairpins. So habang nandoon ako't chine-check ko yug reflection ko sa may mirror sa labas, nakita ko na nandoon si TWEETY (Codename ng crush ko) sa loob ng men's room, nag-aayos rin. Eh, alam niyo naman ako kapag nakikita ko siya, di ba? Tumatakbo ako palayo. Ganoon na nga yung ginawa ko.

From a distance, nakita ko sina Romeo't Sharlyn na nag-uusap; hawak ni Romeo yung coat ni TWEETY. May hinala akong isa na naman itong romantic set-up para sa akin.

Maya-maya, medyo nagalit ako nang konti so sinabi na ni Romeo kung ano talaga yung tunay na nangyari: tama ang hinala ko, set-up nga. Eto yung dialog:
*SHARLYN: Itanong mo nga si Tweety kung puwede niyang isayaw si Hannah.
*ROMEO: Tweety, may itatanong ako sa iyo.
*TWEETY: Huwag mo nang ituloy, alam ko na kung anong sasabihin mo. Dinig na dinig ko.
*ROMEO: So, anong sagot mo?
*TWEETY: Ok!

Ayan po ay isang halimbawa ng pagmamahalan ng mga tapat na magkakaibigan... Grabe, noh?

Fast-forward na sa slow-dancing time... May technique pala pati sa pag-slow dance para bawas hassle: changing partners... So first dance ko si Allas, pagkatapos ay ipinasa ako kay Jeric. Nagpapicture kami for two shots, the second shot bearing me with my back to him, his arms around my waist. Tapos tinukso niya ako, pinapa-inggit ko lang daw yata kuno si Tweety. Hindi noh! Tapos kinuwento ko sa kaniya lahat ng mga ginawang katarantaduhan sa akin ng mga friends ko. Tapos sabi ko, asa akong isasayaw nga niya ako! Tumawa lang siya.

Tapos naipasa ako kay Alan, tapos kay Ison... Nakikipagsayaw pa lang ako with Alan, nakita kong malapit na si Tweety sa amin... Kaya pagkatapos namin ni Ison, naipasa ako...

...sa lalaking isinisigaw ng puso ko (naka naman!). Inabot niya yung kamay ko tapos sumayaw kami (picture, picture) for about twenty measley seconds... Tagal naming sumayaw noh? 'The Gift' pa man din yung kanta...

Kahit ganoon lang yung itinagal ng pagkakadaop ng mga palad namin sa isa't isa at yung pag-indayog namin sa himig ng kanta, masayang-masaya pa rin ako. At least, di ba, may isang prom memory akong itre-treasure hangga't siya pa rin ang mahal ko... Kahit alam kong walang kapaga-pag-asa ang isang tulad ko sa isang katulad niya, masaya na ako... Actually during that time, nagtatalo na ang mga kalooban ko kung sasabihin ko ba sa kaniyang mahal ko siya o hindi...

Tapos pagkatapos nung kanta, inihatid pa niya ako sa table ko (with matching akbay of the hands pa rin)... Kakatuwa, kasi napaka-gentleman niya. Pagkaalis niya, pinagtripan ko yung pouch ng camera ko saka yung table. Sinuntok-suntok ko. Hehe.

Tapos maya-maya ng konti, bigla siyang umupo sa tabi ko. Nag-hi siya sa akin, nag-hi rin ako sa kaniya. Tapos sabi niya, 'Teka lang...' tapos umalis na siya... Ano yun? Hmmm... Baka dare. Hehe. =)

In conclusion, tonight had been a very magical night for me... Marami pa nga kong nakasayaw eh, tulad nina Dondi, Kevin, etc... I felt like a princess, though I knew from the very start that the magic would only last until the stroke of midnight... Well, at least I got to dance with my Prince Charming... That fantastic memory is enough to sustain me of my dreams... =) I love you.

P.S. to Tweety kahit alam kong hindi mo rin naman mababasa ito: Alam kong alam mo na kung sino ka (Hindi actually, kutob lang pero sabi ni Jai alam mo na raw)... Hehe, don't mind me...

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-22T06:50:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, everyone! Expect to see me fatter come January 4! Hehehe... The house is full of chocolate cakes and hotdog- and it's not even Christmas day yet! And let's acknowledge Garfield's presence... he's keeping me company! Yay!

This month's kinda cool. We had our festival on the 14th and 15th (English and Arts fest) and I was stressed out as hell. But nevertheless, it was fun! I especially enjoyed our one-act play, where I played an innkeeper and a pig. Haha! The choir was also nice, but my throat hurt at that time so it was not-so-cool for my part. And of course there was the Body Painting contest (I enjoyed this the most *wink wink*) where I got to paint Jeric (Yay!)... And hey! We snagged third place! Weee... But our section claimed fourth place over-all.

Our band (Me, Krisia, Mark, Tolin, Kevin) also performed on the morning of the first day of the fest. I was vocalist, and I sang 'Buses and Trains', 'Wherever you will go' and 'She will be loved'... All the while stealing glances at my crushie... I was in cloud nine, but my bandmates were frustrated because my fellow vocalist and one of my closest friends Cocoi failed to show up (they say he hid from us intentionally because he got cold-footed)... Well, life goes on...

16th was our Christmas party. It was fun, but I had to go home early. Thank you for the wonderful gifts, everyone (T.y. so much Aicha... Paano mo alam kung anong gusto ko? Wakeke, atin-atin na lang yun...)! And to the others whose gifts I forgot (Sir Domdom, Sir Florflor, Sir Liyuliyu, Sir Jo)... May January pa naman!

Anyways, I've opened up an account at Motoalert! Check out my blog here. Also, I'd appreciate it if you drop me a meesage on my Christmas tree here. Thanks in advance!

I've also got a new fiction out. If you're a big fan of snow, snowball fights, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, then I suggest you check it out here. Tell me if my grammar sucks or yadda yadda- whatever!

And I've also had the heart to personalize my friendster url, so check out my friendster here. I'm actually proud of my html achievements for this page!

Merry Christmas, everyone! Always remember that Christmas or no Christmas, me and Jesus are always here for you *Awww...*! I'm wishing you good luck in everything that you do in life and God bless! Happy New Year too...

P.S. Gift-giving resumes on January! Haha, joke joke joke!

Am I a disgrace?

2005-11-22T23:20:00.000-08:00

Actually, dapat kasama niya yung buong barkada ko sa background... Chibi siya kaya maganda sana... Malas lang kasi yung scanner... Nyweiz, sino ba to? Hehe, tribute lang namin ng barkada ko sa favorite naming C.O. kasi mabait siya saka nakakatuwa *sabi lang nila to ha ehem ehem*... Levi, para sa iyo to...=) Kahit masungit ka sa akin... Galit ata ito sa akin eh... =)

P.S. I'll just post the original picture when I have the time and the heart... Promise, cute siya! Grabe, exams na naman sa 25! God bless, people!

Yesterday (November 21, 2005), I recieved a piece of news that had shattered my already-crushed ego *cum self-confidence*. It's bad enough that other people tease me about the way I look, act or speak... and this info I've just recieved made things take a turn for the worst in this so-called 'life' of mine.

Y'see, I originally didn't pass for a position when I joined the screening for our school paper but when we had our first general meeting, the advisers decided they needed an Entertainment Editor. Monica, our editor-in-chief, was kind enough to spare me that position so I landed that job. I was really very thankful and happy that time.

As the deadline for our first issue drew nearer, I found myself bustling and tiring and not sleeping and researching and typing in front of my computer just to have some fun stuff to put on those two whole pages that were mine.. all mine. I was tired, dead beat... but I was happy. I've never been happier on a job in my whole life. I remember when I even conducted a poll on what is the most probable reason why the most famous Pinay superhero, Darna, wears a skimpy costume. Haha. My ideas may sound pathetic to you but for someone who's so excited about the mere prospect of being a little part/help to his/her school paper...

However, my most cherished, er- masterpiece, shall I call it?- would probably be the 'Hugger Mugger'. This section boasts of the latest gossips and chisms that circulate the whole campus. So many regular students were turned into campus celebrities by this section, whether accompanied with a bad or good description. Modesty aside but truthfullness abide, this section is one of the most anticipated by the students ever since it was first created. It was practically tradition! It started way back on 1990!

"...I find that I am not competent enough to continue the position..."

When I heard that news, I didn't think twice... or I didn't think at all. I just grabbed the paper nearest to me and started scribbling a letter. A resignation letter.

At that time, I felt like crying but can't. I felt like screaming. I had that brief urge to kick something, or punch somebody's eyeballs out... but I never did. I just wrote, and when I lost heart I sought Sharlyn's help. She helped me compose my ticket to Failuresville.

"...I do not wish to criticize the staff by handing this letter..."

Hugger Mugger will be omitted from the newspaper. That's the scoop. I don't know if it's permanent. What I know is, the whole school's gonna kill me. I've practically broken tradition, and it's fault on my part. They say the reason for this action is because the section's too brutal and obvious. Heellooooo.... This is a blind item section over here! I've seen countless of this stuff over the years I've spent on this hellhole that I call school, and they're obviously more brutal and cruel! And what about Sir Dominic's omitted article? What was it about? "Top ten best bunny slipper designs?" It was that cruel?!?!?!?!

Wait, let me clear something up first. I do not blame anybody for this drama of mine because I know it's my own doing... I do not blame anyone especially the staff of the school paper. Here's the idea: It was our directress who opposed to some *or almost all* of the articles on the already-layouted paper. I just don't know why. Maybe she doesn't like them, who knows? We can't do anything, now, can we? If Queen Mother bellows, everyone must be still. But wait- we're not in some silly mother-fuck*ng monarchy! We're no slaves here! We have our own freedom! Is it not the *FREEDOM OF WILL* that freed us from the foreign invaders during the war? Is it not the *FREEDOM OF BELIEF OR CHOICE* that ended the Marcos dictatorship? Isn't the *FREEDOM OF THE PRESS AND SPEECH* the spirit that binds humankind to the truth?

"...Please forgive me for all the troubles that I may have caused..."

I was about to sign the letter when Jeric and Kristine dropped by my table and caught a whiff of my plan. They read my letter and consoled me. They said that we're in this together... the whole staff. And they confiscated the letter, saying they won't let me resign from my post. Well, I've got an extra letter here yo! But I'm having second thoughts about it... This is where I am happy, after all. Will I just surrender to a Queen Mother and decide to let go of my dream? Argh, this is frustrating. This is my family and friends' cue to enter, I suppose. And as I wait for them here, shedding buckets of tears... clutching the bag where I snuck my letter... I'll think of an evil plan to dominate the Entertainment Section for my comeback party... Take note, I said EVIL... Bwahahaha...^_^

Wake me up when November ends...

2005-11-02T04:36:00.000-08:00

The past week and this week have been fun for me- except for this shocking news that I recieved last Wednesday. One of our friends, Justine, was hit and run by a vehicle (*obviously*) and is currently in Lyceum hospital. They say she's fine now, but will have to undergo some stitchings. We hope for your rapid recovery, friend! =)

Anyways, I finally had had the heart to make good use of my Quizilla account so please visit my homepage here and my first ever quiz "What's your 'Happily Ever After' story?". Also, a big thanks to those wonderful people who gave me Friendster testimonials! You made my day! Kaya kayo, itesti nyo na din ako! Dali! Wahehe...^_^

Anyways, let me tell you about last week's intramurals (don't worry, only the nice parts so you won't die of boredom!). First was when the Salpicado band played for the student body last Wednesday. One of the songs they played was dedicated to my close chum Romeo. Grabe, he was so red and angry at the lead singer Aaron! Wahaha, but that was nothing when the band started playing "We Are The Champions", dedicated to us Seniors! The other years were like- uhm- speechless with rage or something! *Gush!*

That same day was also the Cheer-dance competition. Well, that and the Modern Dance competition were kinda like the highlights of that day's program. Oh, and did I mention that I was lifted as part of our entry's stunts? Wahaha, para silang nagbuhat ng dalawang kaban ng bigas! Hindi ko makakalimutan yung araw na yun: ako, Dennis, Ronnald, Monte, Toph, Charles, Yves, Allas, etc. As in, the crowd went wild! And to think that I was dancing while being lifted! Weeeee!!!!

Nothing much to say because that was the only event where I participated (I'm actually listed for Volleyball, but since they don't seem to need our amateurish talent, whatcha call it?...). Other games filled with tension to the brim were the Volleyball girls and boys championships, and the basketball semi-finals. We won in all those games! Hurrah for the Seniors!

Ho-hum... Basketball on Monday. Games got cancelled because there were slight rainshowers last Friday, so the ground was slippery then. Yay! Extended Intramurals!

And as for this week... well, it was only fun because there were lots of food at home and because we *students* really need this Sem Break! I literally stuffed myself with Chocolate cake, Brazo de Mercedes, Spaghetti, Rice Cakes, Chicken, Pizza, Ensaymada... hungry yet? Hehehe...=)

Currently listening to: "Out of my League" by Stephen Speaks. I mish my Tweety na...

And speaking of Tweety... RONNALD ALAN JOE FERRER PEREZ! San mo tinago yung Tweety bird kooo!! Putik, tagal ko nang nde nayayakap yun! Wahehe...=)

Kewl people leave comments on an entry... Sex gods/goddesses leave a comment and link the author... ^_^

So-so day (aka bad morning but good afternoon)...

2005-10-18T06:41:00.000-07:00

First of all, here's a gift to Joyce Mapanao. Have it, I'm not a fan anyway. *Note: I only found this while surfing okie? To claim, click here.

Life is totally unfair, don't you think? One minute I was running late for my first class which was ComSci. While I ran up the stairs, Sir Lachika told me that Sir Astadan, our principal, wants to see me. So I was pissed by that time and even more pissed off as I saw that he noticed I was wearing white rubber shoes. Then came the infamous lecture and "I'm-an-angry-buffoon-don't-you-dare-defy-me" lines.

"Why are you wearing those kind of shoes, ha?" he said.

"Sir, because my shoes are still wet..." I answered most corteously.

"Do you want me to send you out of this school?!" sabi ba naman niya bigla. I was shocked because he's usually a morning person tapos, sa napakababaw na rason eh binulyawan ako! Chaka niya! Mas mahaba ang hair ko! Hmp!

And then there's this extra who even pushed me deeper into hot water. "She had done that more than once now, Sir," it said. Who else, eh di yung guwardiya na sipsip na nga eh sawsaw pa na si Mang Jun. Yang dalawang yan, isama pa si Kuya Jerry, ang bumubuo ng hate club na against sa akin. Ewan kung bakit mabigat ang dugo ng mga yan sa mga magagandang katulad ko!

"Where do you live anyway? Do you want me to send you out of this school? Instead of setting a good example, you are of rebellion to the school admin! Blah blah blah blah blah..." Why should I listen? These crap puts the liveliest person to sleep! In the end, he commanded me to put in writing why I must not be sent out of school. Well, double crap.

What I wrote: "I believe I should not be sent out of school because blah blah blah blah blah... And I see other students who wear far more outrageous outfits or items, etc., blah blah blah blah... You're unfair! You suck! (Kidding only!)"

But then it started to get better when I attended Physics and saw him. My Tweety (stupid codename). My angel... and knight in shining armour. Hay, iniisip pa lang kita feeling ko malulusaw na ako...

And then during Biochem, I made up this "Crap Game". You determine your name's first letter and match it with the corresponding word, and then you do the same to your last name, and then you combine thew words together and voila- you now have crap! I got "Vanilla Scent" (H corresponds to 'Vanilla' and C corresponds to 'Scent')!

My Tweety's corresponding words were also cool but I don't wanna post it here because the game gets to be posted in my section in the Catalyst Newspaper (then everyone will know who Tweety is)! Note to Levi: Hindi siya si Tweety noh! Nagkakamali ka ng iniisip, duh! Kung alam mo lang kung sino si Tweety, baka maatake ka sa puso!

And then there's the Choral Speech practice (ended at 8:30 P. M.) that was sooooo tiring, and even more tiring Cheerdance Practice tomorrow. Crap. If I die, pleash pray for me. =)

Be a friend and add a comment. Be a sex god/goddess and link me up.

P.S. Krisia asked if she could post the game on her blog. Go ahead and try it! Click here (and see if she already posted it; if not, please wait for it because it's really worth trying out- sorta like a site namer; try it on your love interest's names).

Am I obsessed or in love? Weeeee....

2005-09-24T22:56:00.000-07:00

Inuyasha! He can seem like a real jerk, but can be
very sweet! He will protect you as long as he
lives.

Which anime guy likes you? (girlz only) Awsome anime pix! : )
brought to you by Quizilla

*Swoon* Kinikilig ako, grabe. My ultimate anime crush! Grabe na talaga ang LOVE! It's so unpredictable! I have many reasons to prove that it is!

Recently kasi, I had developed a crush-slash-obsession-cum-love for an unexpected person. Weeee... Guess who! *Wakeke*. Unexpected as in nobody would ever expect me to fall for this guy kasi we're complete opposites (he's heaven and I'm earth and all that)! Actually, when I told my friends about him, their expressions were unreadable (Si Krisia parang maaatake sa puso; Si Jeric parang natuka ng ahas; Ah ewan!)... LOVE IS BLIND, after all...

Actually, just a few days ago, I saw him with his hair still wet (Mmmm... bagong ligo! ^_^) ! He is so HOT (Patay ako pag nabasa NIYA ito...)(NOTE: Sa mga kaibigan kong nakakabasa nito ngayon, wag niyo naman masyadong itaas ang mga kilay niyo pweash?)! Weeee, as in super kilig ako!

And then a few more days before that, Krisia let me take a test that determines someone's special feelings for you... And then my result was... Eeeekkkk, kilig ako grabe!

"Mahal ka niya nang higit pa sa buhay niya!"

Eeeeekkk! Kahit pa sabihing hindi naman totoo, nakakakilig pa rin! Thank you, Lord. Marvelous life... ^_^

Waaahhh, Sunday tomorrow. One more day before I see him. I mish him... I MISH HIM... I LOVE HIM. Waaaaah!!! I have never loved this way before. Ngayon lang ako nagkaganito, swear! Bakit kaya? Dati-rati naman, hindi ako kinikilig or napapatili or whatever. Bakit ganito na ngayon? Iba kaya yung nararamdaman ko para sa kanya kesa sa naramdaman ko para sa iba dati? Yung sa iba ba, infatuation lang pero sa kanya eh love na? Or vice-versa? Waaaah! Help me! I'm confused!

*Wakeke* Calm down, Hannah Carrera. You're being an overreactive pig again.

P.S. To the Varsity Girls on their game today: There's still a next time. Go beat the shit out of everyone who stands on your way! Lolz, maging Queen of the Taklesa ba? ^_^

*Mataas sana ako sa exams... Random thought lang.*

Be a friend and leave a comment. Be a sex god/goddess and link me up. ^_^

Ateneo exams Sowee Levi!! Mwah!

2005-09-16T02:15:00.000-07:00

Good Luck sa lahat ng mga mag-tetake ng Ateneo Entrance Exams! I labshew all...^_^

Anyways, yesterday kasi, we had our arts class. We were painting canvasses. When we were dismissed, we were all very dirty and untidy. My partner, Mark*Chubby*, asked me to wash his palette and paintbrushes. I accepted and headed upstairs for the bathroom- only to find out it was jampacked!

I was actually panicking by then. Two minutes and it's already Economics class. I was too desperate that I decided to find a more uncrowded washroom. But as I passed by the Boy's bathroom, I saw that only Levi (my classmate *nyehehe*) was there. I looked if anyone was watching and then popped inside.

I can tell he was surprised so my heart beated faster. I guess my ears didn't work particularly well at that time because I thought I heard him say "Pakisara yung pinto...("Please close the door...")

So I turned around and as I did, I felt the brushes in my hand brush against something. Uh-oh. I reacted.

"Ano yun? Ano yun? ("What was that?")" he said. I was actually slouching on the wall at that time, screaming and uttering apologies. Our janitress, ate Carmen, heard the noise and went to check on us.

I dug the hole a little deeper by smearing water on the paint (yes, I accidentally painted his polo). It scattered and even penetrated the t-shirt inside.

Ate Carmen decided to help and washed the polo with soap and water. (and I held his I.D.). I think that did the trick. But I was still profusedly apologizing.

Wahehe, what a day.

*BTW, today Rose Ann cried because she lost Joy's notebook (she found it in the end, don't ask me how). Wala lang.

*DIALOGUE:
HANNAH: Tweety, do you love me?
TWEETY: *???*
HANNAH: Tell me...
TWEETY: I love... I tot I taw a Putty Tat.
HANNAH: Waaaaaaaaaah!...

I've got a new virtual pet!

2005-09-11T21:25:00.000-07:00

adopt your own virtual pet!

O, di ba ang cute niya? *Wakeke*

Why's it named "Ronnald", you ask? I believe kasi that just like Ronnald (Alan Joe F. Perez, one of my good friends), a tiger for a pet is a pain in the ass and at the same time very entertaining and loveable. No malice here, okay?

Anyways, my day's just fine. I signed up for an account at Diaryland but I decided to just ignore it. One: because a free account does not support commenting and two: it doesn't have that many members.

I also checked out NuTang and I found it really cool so I also registered. And then later on, as I tried to customize my template, I found that it was a very hard job! Too many template tags- and there was no list provided!

I was about to consider visiting Blogdrive and RiceBowlJournals, but I slacked out. It's a hot day, you know. Maybe Blogspot and Xanga are the best there is after all. But I really really really dont have the heart to customize.

I'm thirsty. GTG get some drinks. I'll post more soon.

First blog...Wakeke

2005-08-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

It's actually 1:43 in the morning, Sunday pa. Classes tomorrow. D'you reckon I could sleep in Sir Samson's class? =)

Anyways, my name's Hannah Carrera. Actually, this is just the blog section of my website so go check it out (the link's below). Welcome to my hackneyed life.

Why am I even bothering staying late for a website/blogsite, you ask? That is for me to know and you to find out. *Wakeke* charing!

~*+-Confessions of a Lovesick Seductress-+*~